How to Move From Fear to Confidence.

Breaking Free from The Prison of Upper Limiting Beliefs and Habits.

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I had an insight about upper limiting beliefs and habits. You know – all those fears & terrors, anxieties & confusions that prevent us from embracing our big dreams and feelings of joy, keeping us trapped in gloom and frustration. Even perhaps, when the going gets really tough, sucking us in to a well of  overwhelming depression.

It wasn’t so much a new insight, more a magnification of something I already know. Something in to which I’m continuously re-learning and expanding.

The Insight:

Upper limiting beliefs and habits are always there.

Will always be there.

Perhaps they’re even helpful prompts to keep us moving in the ‘right’ direct as we seem to bump up against them each time we try to move on or up.

I’ve been up against some forceful ones over the last few weeks, mainly in the form of sheer terror which feels like it’s pinning me down to the ground with a large wooden stake.

I’ve found myself wondering:

Is this actually wise guidance warning me against an action that I was hoping to take in my life or is it a limiting belief that I should deal with like a crusader entering in to battle- determined to vanquish this particular foe?

I generally answer this question by listening to the wisdom of my body.nude-1403269_1920

I breath in to it to see what advice it has for me over these debilitating feelings.

Nearly always, it’s a fear of some kind that’s holding me back, pulling me down, ruining the pleasure of my current experience.

Nearly always, it can be traced back to an event in my past, a memory stored that comes unconsciously to life, silently screaming at me: ‘Don’t do it – don’t take that step forward – stay here where it’s nice and safe. It might feel miserable but at least it’s safe.’

Nearly always, I find myself in a period of inner struggle as I decipher the messages and feelings – bringing consciousness to the unconscious.

 Eventually, however, after lots of breathing and deep trusting, a shift occurs.

An awareness.  A new awakening.

A tiny shunt of movement forward, of growth.

I ‘get it’– what the fear is all about. Why the messages  looping around in my mind were trying to keep me locked where I no longer wished to be.

Often, all it takes is one tiny moment of awareness for a giant adjustment to fall in to place, usually accompanied with a sense of relief and enlightenment.That one tiny moment, however, might have taken weeks of work in the darkness, in blindness, in fear, confusion and distrust. Or in grief and sorrow. 

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Mining Into The Dark Caves of My Soul.

Unearthing these insights can be like mining in the dark caves of my soul. Laborious and relentless labouring within until a chink of light finally appears. As that one chink of light arrives, the whole wall of terror can tumble down and pure awareness creeps in, a clear light shines the way forward and I can breath again,walk again, no longer frozen on the pathway of my own life.

Sometimes, I hate those times in the darkness. Those lonely hours spent wondering if this is ‘it’ – have I become permanently stuck on my own journey? Yet time after time I have been shown that I never am – that light always follows the dark. That there is sunshine after rain. There is breath after breathlessness.There is courage after terror. There is self-belief after self-doubt.

Yes. With this liberation comes trust once more. That all is well. That I am well. That life is well.

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Like the Seasons.

This morning, following one such moment of ‘enlightenment’, I woke up truly connecting with the habitual nature of these limiting beliefs:

As one steps in to the light, one takes another step closer to the next wave of darkness.

As one enters in to the darkness, one moves closer to new light.

Like the  rise and fall of the sun and moon, the ebb and flow of the tides, and the rhythm of the earth and her seasons, there will always be a recurring connection with darkness.  This is only a problem if we haven’t realised that this is how life is meant to be.

We can’t have the light without the dark.

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Living in Alignment with the Dark and the Light. 

 Until we come in to alignment with our light and dark and welcome them both in to our life as cherished guides then we will always be stuck in the type of fear and darkness that can never be shifted.

Perhaps this is the greatest awareness of all.

Light and dark are an essential part of life.  

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The darkness is merely a guide to the light. Darkness is, possibly, one of our best friends, a vital part of our wisdom – leading us from the prison within to freedom.

Finding Wisdom in the Darkness.

 I encourage each and everyone of you to sit with your breath today.  Sit with those dark parts of you, whether it is anger, fear, confusion, terror, panic, anxiety, conflict – however it is showing up in your life today, sit with it and ask:

My friend, what is your wisdom for me today?

What are you trying to teach me?

What are you trying to heal within me?

Where is it you wish for me to go?

What is the light in this situation?

Then listen, with gratitude, to this wisdom – and follow its loving guidance.

I  then invite you to do the same again – only, this time, with your light.

Sit with  your joy, your laughtLiving in Harmony with Your Light – Your Shine.  

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er, your lightness of being, your inner genius, your highest one and ask:

My friend, what is your wisdom for me today?

What are you trying to teach me?

What are you trying to heal within me?

Where is it you wish for me to go?

What is it you wish for me to do?

 Then listen, with gratitude, to this wisdom – and follow.

Don’t be surprised to find that your shine, and your darkness, might both want exactly the same for you!

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A Final Message – Mastering the Darkness.

If you have a history of darkness in your life, suffering from more than your fare share of trauma & grief, depression or sorrow, anxiety and terror, it can become easy to tip in to these feelings when life throws us a curve ball or we step out in to new ventures. But here is something I have learned:

Sometimes we have to ‘master the darkness’.

Sometimes we have to know when to say ‘ enough is enough.’

Sometimes another part of us has to say:

‘ Okay – I can see that you have a message for me so let’s get on and hear it, shall we? I don’t have time to sit around wallowing in old darkness that no longer serves me. Let’s get it up and out. Right here. Right now.’

I admit that this can take some practice.  It becomes easier, however, once you become less afraid of the darkness. Once you realise that it is a friend there to help you. Once you realise that you can be ‘in control’ of it like a good parent rather than letting it control you like a wicked curse.  Ultimately, you are the leader of the pack not the darkness.

It takes practice to believe, understand and to know how to work with but once you have done it a few times, (following the exercises above), it becomes easier and easier –although it doesn’t always feel like that when your in the darkness!

Please trust me:

 It is possible to master the darkness.

If can be done.

Sit tight.

Keep breathing.

And trust.

Darkness is just one half of the scales of your life.

The other half is – light!    flowers-164754_1280

Once you live in alignment with this truth and way of being, you will be on your way to  having broken free of the prison of upper limiting beliefs and habits in order to lose your fear and regain confidence in your life.

I would love to know what wisdom your darkness and/or light  had for you today – what loving advice did it give to you to help you move forward? Please share in the comments below. 

Sending You All Much Love. 

Karen

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Karen is a #1 best selling author,  international clairvoyant & healer specialising in healing the wounds of the inner child following breakdown, trauma or grief in order to restore life to the most joyful place possible.

To work with Karen, visit her ‘Work with Karen’ page:

email: karenpackwood@gmail.com

Visit Karen’s Facebook page: Karen Packwood – The Love Millionaire

or follow her on Twitter: The Love Millionaire@karen_packwood

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” Sometimes, the most profound adventures lie within us and the greatest journey is the journey of our own transformation once we begin to honour our truth.”

Karen Packwood – The Love Millionaire ( to be published in 2017)

It’s Okay To Begin Small….

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It’s okay to begin small.

It’s in the beginning small, that we grow tall. 

 

Wishing You a Peaceful Day,

 

All My Love Karen.

http://www.thelovemillionaire.com

cropped-l_0143441.jpgKaren is an  #1 best selling author, clairvoyant & healer specialising in healing the wounds of the inner child in order for each of us to live our most nourishing lives possible.

 

To find out more about Karen’s work, check out her Work with Karen page or email:

karenpackwood@gmail.com

 

 

A Morning Message From Spirit.

Do Not Give Up.

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Do not give up on this adventure in life. On this adventure in to your heart and soul that is your journey with your deepest self and your highest self and, of course, Spirit Most High who holds you all preciously in it’s bright loving light of pure truth.

Do not give up.

For every wounded child within you, there is a child already living in bliss, who never moved out of bliss, who is waiting to be reborn. Do not give up.

Sending You All My Love,

Karen

xxx

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Karen is an author, clairvoyant and healer specialising in healing the wounds of the inner child following breakdown, trauma or grief in order to restore life to the most joyful  place possible. 

To work with Karen, visit her ‘Work with Karen’ page: 

email: karenpackwood@gmail.com

Visit Karen’s Facebook page: Karen Packwood – The Love Millionaire

or follow her on Twitter: The Love Millionaire@karen_packwood

The Myth of Self Love.

You’ve Just Got to Love Yourself.  Excuse Me?

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Recently, I’ve become really weary of the phrase: ‘You’ve Got to Love Yourself’, even though I also, paradoxically, totally support the view.

I’ve seen it bandied about throughout social media as if it is some kind of instant cure all. I might even scream the next time I see an image posted with a ‘beautiful’ woman smiling brightly with pearly white teeth and ‘perfect’ hair dancing through a wild flower pasture accompanied by such captions as:

‘Love Yourself And Attract the Happiness Your Deserve’

Why Does This Annoy Me? 

Because it’s unfair. That Why.

It creates, in my opinion, a type of myth.

The myth that ‘Loving Yourself’ is easy and light and fluffy. And quick.

It’s not.

It’s hard. Really hard.

It’s raw and gritty. It can be excruciatingly painful. It can be agonisingly lonely. It can be expensive. It can take up years of your life with no guarantee of success. For some, it can take a lifetime, for others it remains, despite immense hard word, simply out of reach.

A Wilderness of Cracked Hope.earth-1407349_1920

I’m sorry if that sounds pessimistic or negative. It’s not meant to. It’s meant to sound real. Many, many people struggle each and everyday to find goodness within themselves, to overcome a sense of failure or lack of self worth. Others live with the overwhelming bleakness of depression or the darkness of shame that has often been caused by some very difficult experiences in life, often caused when they were tiny, vulnerable children. These people live with an inner landscape that is arid, dehydrated and barren. It is a wilderness of cracked hopes and broken souls.

 Judgemental.

When you confront people suffering in such a way with the bland phrase/advice: ‘ You’ve Just Got to Love Yourself’, it might not come across as particularly loving or helpful. It might, potentially, come across as judgemental, punitive and deeply shaming.

There might be a sense that because they are not ‘attracting the  happiness you deserve’ as they are not ‘loving yourself’, then they are failing. Again. They now, therefore, have one more dollop of punishing beliefs heaped upon them by virtue of the fact that they are now also failing to ‘love themselves’. That’s not fair, is it?

It got me thinking. 

What could we do, or say, instead to genuinely help and support those who are currently walking through the mud of their own lives?

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Maybe we could begin by immediately taking away the demand to ‘Love Yourself’.

 

How amazing might it be for a person on their knees with punitive self doubt and shattered self-esteem to hear something like this instead:

                              ‘I Love You’.

 

I accept all of who you are, no matter how uncomfortable that might make me feel.

 

If you want me to, I’ll walk beside you as your tears fall and, again, if you want me to, I’ll help you pick up the pieces of your broken heart. Even if it takes a long, long time.

However, when the time is right, I will also step back, allowing you to do what you need to do in your own time and in your own way but, please know that I love you more fiercely than ever at precisely those moments in time.

 I admire your strength to valiantly conquer your inner demons even though to me, standing here on the outside, they are invisible.

 Do not be afraid or ashamed of showing your pain or your vulnerabilities, your fears or your sorrows.      

 Let your grief flow freely. I will catch your tears, if you want me to.

When anxiety and panic overwhelm you and you don’t know which way to turn, stay still. Sit with nature. Even if it is for many seasons. Sit still. Rest peacefully in the strong arms of Mother Earth and let her rock you back to wellness, until you are soothed back to a sense of calm. 

When you are terrified, breath deeply. Keep breathing until the fear recedes even though it might take a long, long time.  Eventually, it will turn in to something else but, for now, just focus on breathing. Deeply.

And, remember, I love you.   IMG_1503

Do not be afraid to let your rage roar. It’s a vital part of  your deepest healing, of who you are.

I repeat, do not be afraid.

 I respect your right, and need, to fall sometimes and admire you with all my heart when you rise back up.

Let your wild energy break free from the prison within. Release yourself to the wind of your life.

Let your soul do all it needs to do to heal. It does know. Please trust.

 Travel very slowly. As if you were a snail. Perhaps even slower than that. 

 

Sit around fires with good friends. Put your naked feet on warm soil.  Feel the breeze upon your face. Hear the distant roll of the waves. Let the bright sun warm your face and the sweet moon soften your heart. And eat good wholesome food – let it pass through your lips. And do not be afraid to laugh.

There is no need to rush or push or twist or pull.

Be Silent. Be Slow. Be Still. 

And eventually, eventually, you will feel it returning. That which you have been distanced from, forgotten long ago or perhaps never  even knew, it will come. That which you learned to reject or mistrust. That which once terrified you. It will come. Safely and securely. It will come.

You will feel it in your tears, you will hear it in your howls, you will sense it in your aching muscles and cells until one day the ache no longer exists and in it’s place you will find:

Love. 

Pure Love.

The love of the earth for you, the love of universe for you, my love for you but, most importantly, one day, when you least expect it, you will feel your own love for you. A warmth will stir in your being and you will know that you have been reawakened. That you will have been transformed. Come back to life. All that you once hated about yourself, you will now love. You will learn again and again, or perhaps for the first time, to listen to the to the divine whisperings of your soul guiding you to nourish yourself fully.

You will know that you have evolved way beyond all that made you unwell.

You will see your raw, naked, natural, stunning beauty.IMG_1505

 

You will be living in a new landscape. The landscape of inner richness and this will be reflected in the world around you.

Then, finally, finally, finally you will have the courage to be honest with yourself, with those you love, with Spirit most high and with life in general about all of who you are and all of what you desire most deeply in life.

For you will have returned to yourself – To who you were born to be.

And when you slip, as we all sometimes do, remember: 

I am here.

Ready and waiting to begin the whole journey together again.

Because I love you.

And, for all that you are and all that you are not, I always will.

 

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Please, the next time you come across someone who is lying at the bottom of their life with a cracked heart and a broken soul, weeping tears of misery and despair, don’t say:

‘You’ve just got to love yourself.’

Because they don’t know what this means.

Begin by telling them:

I love you.

I will walk with you.

One step at a time.

Until you find your way.

Back to yourself.

I will walk with you.

Because I love you.

If you have a story to share about how you found your way back to feeling love for yourself or how someone has supported back to this place, I would love to hear it. Please post in the comment section below.

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With All My Love,

Karen

‘The Love Millionaire’

xxxx

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Karen is a #1 Best Selling Author, Clairvoyant & Healer specialising in healing the wounds of the inner child following childhood trauma with the aim to restore self esteem to the highest and most joyful level possible.

To find out more about her work please visit her ‘Work with Karen’ page.

Join her Facebook book page: Karen Packwood – The Love Millionaire. 

You can also email Karen on karenpackwood@gmail.com

xxx

 

 

Paint A New Picture for Your Life.

Letting Go of All That No Longer Serves.

“If only she had known her worth, she would’ve stopped begging for the crumbs of other people’s hearts.”

Chishala Lishomwa

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I once owned a beautiful sofa. I loved it so much. It was deep purple with soft, voluminous cushions. Friends would remark on the elegance of this prized possession of mine. This was back in the day when I was living a conventional life as a teacher and owned a small semi-detached house on a housing estate in a London overspill town in Suffolk, UK. It was my first proper ‘upscaled’ owned house. My former home, also owned, had been a tiny one up one down affair in a rural village not so far from my newly acquired semi-detached. I was in my early thirties and doing what I thought I had to do:

conventional job + conventional home = conventional life.

The home had everything you would expect a home to have, including the aforementioned magnificent sofa that cost me three months wages which I, following modern day convention, purchased with my credit card.

How very, very grown up I felt.

On the surface.

Job +Home + Credit Card + Sofa = Grown Up = Happiness

That’s the right maths, isn’t it?

That’s what we’re taught to aspire to in this society. Right?

The trouble was, I wasn’t happy.

I was actually deeply, deeply unhappy.

And sad.

And – mostly – bored. Life had no colour.

I would come home from my job, exhausted by my own ‘ fed-upness’  and sink in to that sofa with a sense of overwhelming gloom and loneliness. The truth was my ‘ job + home + credit card + sofa = grown up = happiness’ equation just wasn’t adding up for me. I was unsatisfied, with a profound gnawing sense of wrongness about my own well being.

A Grand Life Decision:

In those days, I had no qualms about making grand life changing decisions in the blink of an eye – normally on dull weekends in February at the heart of winter’s darkness. This particular year was no exception. I decided to quit my job and open a restaurant. Like you do.

Within six weeks I had resigned, rented out my home, bought a second home back in my home county, bought a restaurant and moved. Taking my oversized credit card purchased sofa with me.

Did I mention that I knew nothing about running a restaurant? My greatest experience linked with the restaurant trade had been back in my teenage days working as a waitress with my mates in a Wimpy Bar!

It turned out, not surprisingly, that this was not the best grounding for owning and running a restaurant serving a full a la carte dinner menu. It also turned out that:

 

1: It’s hard to earn money in the restaurant trade, and:

     2: I didn’t like owning, running or working in a restaurant. 

 

In fact, I hated it more than I hated my former job.

 

I actually did sink in to that oversized sofa, symbol of my ‘grown-upness’, every night – often falling in to a gloomy sleep upon it.

Needless to say, I didn’t last long in the restaurant trade. Unlike my ‘ safe’ teaching job which I stuck at for many unhappy years, my decision to leave the restaurant trade was swift. I exited within a few painful months.

Poverty, Debt and Another Grand Idea:

There was, however, one tiny glitch to this particular spontaneous departure: lack of income. An equally, perhaps not surprising, swift spiral downwards equation occurred:

no income + utility bills + credit card bills + the need to eat  = poverty & debt.

Thank goodness I had my oversized sofa to sink in to each night. I could even hide some of the unopened and ignored demand letters under the vast cushions. Many of you might be familiar with this equation:

out of sight = out of mind – not.

It wasn’t long before the inevitable happened. Increased debt. Fear. Worry. Full depression resulting in me having to sell my homes and move in to rented accommodation. Thank goodness I had my sofa to remind me of my former ‘glory’ days when life was ‘ sweet’, when I was conventional and safe and ‘grown up’.

The only house I could afford to rent was a tiny, tiny terraced cottage where my sofa took up most of the space in the living room. I had had to ‘let go’ of most of my other furniture but nothing was going to persuade me to get rid of my sofa – my one emblem of my former ‘ successful’ life. Besides, I was still trying to pay for it and I was convinced that ‘one day soon’ I would have a new home where it would fit in perfectly. No – the sofa must stay. At all costs. Until one day, out of the blue, a thought arose within me bringing a new type of equation in to my life:

‘Let it go. What are you holding on to it for? It’s overtaking everything. Let it go.’

So I did.

I donated my oversized and over expensive credit card purchased sofa ( for which, remember, I was still paying) to a charity for homeless people and immediately felt a whole lot better. I quickly realised that this sofa, a former symbol of sophistication in my life, had actually become a millstone around my neck entrapping me in a life for which I had no desire. I had, in effect, been living a life where I had been offering myself crumbs of joy, barely touching the surface of all that could make me happy. 

Letting the sofa go was, it transpired, one of the most freeing acts of my life. 

Liberation –  And What the Sofa Taught me About Love:

After that, my life followed a pattern of letting go of everything from furniture to locations to people to expectations. A process of clearing and cleansing on every level of my life. A process of discovering who I really was, what I really wanted and needed for my own well being at the highest level.

Although sometimes frightening, it was mainly liberating.  I honoured this new found freedom in my life and slowly but surely, bit by bit, a new life formed.

A life where I felt happier ever. More real. More vibrant. More alive. More excited. More genuine.

I began to find out who I am and what makes me tick. Joyfully.

Do I ever miss that sofa? No! Not for one second! Ditching that sofa was the most freeing act of my life! It taught me many things, including lessons in love:

You can’t hang on to love because of memories and nostalgia. There has to be a positive sense of self esteem and self worth in the love in the here and now.

Love has to feed you in the here and now, bring you what you want in the here and now – not as an attachment to the past or hope for the future but right here, right now it must nourish you, bring you joy and nurture you. It must help you flourish and create a sense of bloom within you.

Are you being fed or starved by love?  Not just tickled with the hint of potential happiness but with a full on daily deluge of joy?

You can’t stay in a relationship because you pity or care for someone and that includes yourself.  You must be in a relationship, any relationship,  because you feel valued and appreciated, because you have fun with someone.  And that, I repeat,  includes a relationship with yourself.

Neither can you stay in a relationship as some form of passive aggressive way of getting your own back or proving your point or getting your own way. You have to be there because you want to be there. Because it serves you and nourishes you at the highest level. And this must, I emphasise, include your relationship with yourself. 

Love does not drag you down, make you small or ignore you.

Love worth it’s weight in gold does not offer you crumbs. 

Love raises you up to your highest height.

Love, in all its forms, cannot be, must not be an oversized, bulky lump of furniture in your life.

And that includes your love for yourself.

Isn’t it time to discover what you need to ‘let go of’  in order to ‘liberate’ your life?

 Regrets and A New Equation:

Do I have any regrets about getting rid of my precious sofa?

None at all! Getting rid of my sofa taught me:

Letting Go = Relief = Liberation = Freedom to Expand = Honesty Living = JOY!

‘Letting go’ of that cumbersome, bulky, hefty, debt-inducing sofa brought me nothing but liberation and freed me up to  to paint a bright new picture for my life!

Never Be Afraid To Let Go of All that No Longer Serves You. 

A Question for You: 

If you had to think of one thing right now to release from your life that would make you happier and more joyful,  what would it be? 

Leave A comment to Let Me Know!

I’d love to know what your version of my sofa is or has been?!

Never Be Afraid to Paint A new Picture for Your Life. 

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Welcome to The Love Millionaire

What Does It Mean – To Love Yourself?


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In short: loving yourself means that you know what nourishes you deeply.

And you honour it. Completely. Without fail. Always.

But first, it is my belief, that before you can truly know what and, equally importantly, how to love yourself, you must first know all the ways in which you hate yourself.