How My Breakdown Helped Me to Learn to Trust my Inner Wisdom

If You Were to Love Yourself Today, What Would You Do?

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 Many people who suffer from anxiety induced indecision, and fear, find it impossible to trust their own wisdom,  especially if they’ve experienced years of having their needs and desires undermined or demeaned. However, with practice, it can be done and life can be a whole lot brighter because of it, so it’s worth persevering.

 So, How Can This Be Tackled?

 How do you learn to trust your own wisdom?

I have to be honest, it’s not easy initially. I first had to begin learning to consciously connect with, and trust, my own wisdom following a breakdown.  I was so physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally shattered by this experience that I lost complete faith in myself.                                   

girl-sits-1707993_1920Whilst these were the internal features of my breakdown, there were also compounding external factors that further knocked my decision making confidence. As I had to leave my job,  I fell in to debt causing me to then have to sell my home.  As a lone parent, with a young toddler in tow, it was a pretty dark and rocky time. I was terrified  of ‘getting things wrong’ – not just for myself but also for my daughter.

 

 As it happens, I did get things wrong. Plenty of things.

 

Most of the things I got wrong were due to the fact that, in those early stages of recovery,  I wasn’t able to listen to, or hear, my inner wisdom. Or have the courage to follow it. At the time, counselling or therapeutic support was financially unviable for me so I had to find my way out of the tunnel on my own.  

 

It was then that I began a long, yet natural and organic, journey to recovery where it was clear that I had to live life at a much slower pace.     

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One day, as I settled in to this new rhythm, a simple yet profound question, came to my mind. A question that was to change my life:

 

If I were to love myself today, what would I do?

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 How Do You Answer This Question When You’re Lacking In Confidence?

I’d like to share with you my simple rituals that I used back then, and still use today, to answer the question.  It’s nothing original or new. I didn’t invent it. I guess it’s a fusion of my buddhist practice and how my  natural healing process was guiding me at the time but it did help me to alleviate my terror, calm my anxiety and bring peace to my soul at a time when I was in black turmoil. I share it with you in the hope that it brings you support and comfort.

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Connecting with Your Inner Wisdom.

If You Were to Love Yourself Today, What Would You do?

Make a Conscious Decision to Live Slowly – Even If It’s  For One Hour per Week.

 If you live a fast paced life, create time and space within each week to be slow. I don’t mean slumped in front of the TV with a bottle of wine and some chocolate,  I mean, consciously slow.  Turn this in to a sacred time and place to honour your own highest well being. Then, spending some time alone in this slow time, try some of the following:                     

                                      Spend Time in Nature.  

 stag-768568_1920I can’t tell you  strongly enough how healing nature was for me. I often think I walked my way back to wellness and have some special memories of these walks. However, I didn’t just walk during the day, often I walked as dawn was breaking or under the moonlit midnight sky. These magical times helped remind me of the beauty and wonder in life. 

 

Meditation.

Following my walk, I would then come to a place of peaceful meditation. Just sitting quietly with my eyes closed and my body resting. As my body settled, I would breath slowly, gently and calmly. Then, in this quiet place, surrounded by nature, I would:

                                                         Listen to My Body.
water-1703257_1920As my body rested peacefully, I would ask the question:

 If I were to love myself today, what would I do?

 

 And then wait.

For all the turmoil  or extraneous thoughts to flow away.

They usually do.  

With practice, the right answer appears to you.

 

 

 

It sounds so easy but, in the beginning, it isn’t.

 So why are these rituals important?

 Because they lead to peaceful, calm happiness in life.

 Is my life perfect now? Absolutely not. Do I still have days where I’m grumpy and fed up?  Yes, of course. Do I still get frustrated. For sure! Do I still struggle to make decisions. Yes. Sometimes.

 But, more and more, as I continue to follow these rituals, and listen to my inner wisdom, my life moves towards a peaceful and gentle happiness that I never knew before. For that, I will always be grateful.

I hope it is the same for you.

Please let me know if you try these rituals and ask yourself the question. I’d love to know what answers came to you and if you managed to honour the answer! If so, what happened?! Please share in the comments box below or email me at karenpackwood@gmail.com

Sending You Much Love,

Karen.

xxx xxx

cropped-l_0143441.jpgKaren is a #1 Best Selling Author and Spiritual Healer specialising in healing the wounds of the inner child following childhood trauma with the aim to restore self esteem to the highest and most joyful level possible.

 

To find all about Karen, please visit:

https://wordpress.com/page/thelovemillionaire.com/1

To work with Karen, please visit:

https://thelovemillionaire.com/work-with-karen/

Join her Facebook book page:

Follow her on twitter:

You can also email Karen at karenpackwood@gmail.com

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3 Nourishing Ways to Cope with Anxiety Induced Indecision.

Indecision can be debilitating.

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Indecision combined with anxiety can be excruciatingly debilitating.

In my experience, indecision and anxiety walk hand in hand with each other. When we add in fear, which is normally lurking not far from anxiety and indecision, you’ve then got a recipe for exhausting sleepless nights. 

 

For many, the most debilitating aspect of indecision is the confusion that swirls around in the mind. It becomes impossible to ‘think straight’. The underlying question that can’t be answered is:

 

What is the right thing for me to do in this situation?  

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And therein lies the problem.

 

Can you see what the ‘problem’ is with this question?

 

For me, the difficulty  comes with these words, and the expectations behind them:

 

right

thing

do

 

Right: because it implies there is a wrong solution.

 

There is an inherent belief that we have to find the one and only correct ‘thing’ to solve the answer to our indecision. It creates fear around ‘getting something wrong’. Leading to concerns of:

if we get the answer wrong, what terrible outcome will follow?    

 

There is also an implication that an action is required – you have got to ‘do’ something.  Of course, that might be true. Many decisions do require us to take actions but, I believe, before we jump in to making any decisions, we should approach our indecision, and the accompanying anxiety and fear in a kinder and more gentle manner.

KINDNESS

How would it feel if, next time you faced a chronic phase of indecision, you gave yourself this question instead:

 

What are the most nourishing and liberating ways forward for me with this situation?

 

Doesn’t that feel a lot nicer than the first question?!

 

Immediately we are given room to breath. 

FREEDOM!

 We’re given permission for the decision making process, and the solution, to be enriching and flexible in some way.

 

Now, what if I asked you to think of 3 delicious ways forward, or 30 even?!

THERE IS NO ‘ONE RIGHT ANSWER’!

We don’t have to think of the one right answer! We can have 3, 30 or an infinite amount of possible ways forward!

 

But, hang on a minute, I hear you cry! Doesn’t that just lead to more confusion and indecision?

 

Who needs more choices when you’re suffering from anxiety induced indecision?!

 

Well – here’s the thing:

 

The indecision has been caused because of a perceived problem in your life.

 

In my experience, the best way to solve a problem is to begin to become actively creative with it. To get to know it. To explore it.

 

To crack it open like a nut to see what goodness lies within.

 

But how is that different to confusion, I hear you ask again? And that leads us to:

CREATIVITY!

My hunch is that if you’re someone who had difficulty making decisions, it isn’t because you can’t think of one solution to the problem, it’s because you can probably think of many possible solutions and can’t decide between them all. You’re probably, even if you don’t realise it, a highly creative thinker.

The difference between confusion and these ‘creative solutions’ is that the latter is about consciously choosing a variety of options. You are in control of the ideas flowing around in your head as opposed to vice versa. These conscious creative solutions also come from a place of positivity and empowerment as opposed to feeling out of control and disempowered.

Besides, if you have to make a decision, why not make sure you’ve consciously explored as many solutions as possible before making your final choice!

Why not open up to having some fun with the indecision.

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Take a Look at the following 3 Nourishing and Conscious Ways to Explore Anxiety Induced Confusion.

Step 1: Consciously Connecting with Your Highest Wisdom

 

Sit comfortably.

meditation-1724777_1920Breath in slowly ten times.

Imagine you’re sitting by a vast ocean. Feel the sea breeze upon your face. Imagine your back is resting against warm rocks, supporting you lovingly. Hear the lapping of the waves. Feel the sun on your face.

 

Say to yourself:

 

I trust completely that I will find my way forward with this decision for the greater good of all, for myself, for all those I love and for the world in general.

 

I know the answers lie confidently within me.

 

I believe in my own goodness and wisdom. I believe my soul will support me making a wise and loving decision.

 

I ask that the wisdom of the ocean, which represents the wisdom of my soul, to show me clearly the way forward in this situation.

 

I love myself. I trust myself.

 

Then, sit quietly. Let your body rest and your mind be at peace. Keep breathing long slow breaths.

Step 2: Consciously Releasing All Possible Solutions.

Take up a pen and piece of paper.                                                board-1647323_1920

Before your write, breath in to your body and ask,

Please show me 10 – 30 ways in which this problem can be solved for my own highest good.

Then let yourself, without thinking too much, write those answers down.

If you don’t reach 10, don’t worry. Or, if you can think of over 30 – great! Keep going until you have exhausted every idea possible. Ignore any doubting thoughts that arise.

 

 

Step 3: Consciously Allowing the Solution to Step Forward.

Now come back to sitting peacefully with your body. Keep your eyes closed and ask:

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Please can the most beneficial solution, for my highest good to this question, present itself …….

   

 

On the paper before you, write the answer down.

Don’t judge or reject it.

Sit with it.

And thank it for coming forward to you.

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BUT, WHAT IF……..?

Now, I know that if you suffer from Anxiety Induced Indecision, you might then fall into complete doubt and fear of your own wisdom!

Don’t worry! In my next blog, I share how to alleviate those doubts and fears!  Or read my blog: How to move from fear to confidence: 

https://thelovemillionaire.com/2016/09/13/how-to-move-from-fear-to-confidence

If you feel drawn to share your experiences of how this process worked for you,  I’d love for you to leave a comment via the comment box below.  Alternatively, feel free to email me at karenpackwood@gmail.com.

Sending Much Love,

Karen xxx

 

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Karen is a #1 Best Selling Author and Spiritual Healer specialising in healing the wounds of the inner child following childhood trauma with the aim to restore self esteem to the highest and most joyful level possible.

To work with Karen, please visit: https://thelovemillionaire.com/work-with-karen/

Follow her on twitter:    https://twitter.com/karen_packwood

Join her Facebook book page: https://www.facebook.com/thelovemillionaire/

You can also email Karen on karenpackwood@gmail.com

 

” Sometimes, the most profound adventures lie within us and the greatest journey is the journey of our own transformation once we begin to honour our truth.”

Karen Packwood – The Love Millionaire ( to be published in 2017)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 Nourishing Ways to Cope With Falling Apart.

Consciously Nourishing Ourselves Through Our Dark Times.

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We all fall apart at some point in life.

Anyone who has ever been there knows how uncomfortable that feeling is and just how low our self-esteem can be at these times. Not only are we shattered by feelings of shock and grief, anxiety and terror or deep depression but we can also feel deeply ashamed.

This shame, and the excruciating agony of the root emotions at the core of our ‘falling apart’, can also be a time of deep self neglect – at just the time when it is vital that we honour ourselves with the greatest care.

 

         Below are 4 Conscious Nourishment Rituals to offer support at these times.

Set aside 15 – 30 mins to honour these rituals at the start or end of each day – and try to do all four rituals in the same sitting.

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The Importance of True Consciousness.

I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to be conscious as you follow these rituals. To be fully present in your mind, body and heart is part of truly honouring and holding who you are. It opens you up to discover what you need in order to heal through this vulnerable time.

As you work through them, please know that I send you much love. If you feel drawn to share your experiences with me, or would like to let me know of coping strategies that work for you, I’d love to receive them via the comment box below. Who knows – you might help another person who is suffering. Alternatively, feel free to email me at karenpackwood@gmail.com.

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Conscious Nourishment Rituals.

 Nourishment Ritual 1: Permission To Be ‘Consciously Slow.’        

In times of distress, there is often an impulse to either rush around trying to ‘fix’
everything and avoid things, or, conversely: slump in to a heap. Neither of these are an effective way to help process difficult emotions.

I suggest a more liberating and aware approach – something I refer to as being:

‘Consciously Slow’

This is where you fully acknowledge your pain to yourself ( and others ) and consciously give yourself time to move through it slowly. Pain has its own pace and evolution. It does pass eventually but if we don’t allow it room to breathe, it becomes hard to release it fully. It also becomes difficult to find the rich wisdom and guidance lying at the heart of the pain – which is always there.

 

So, begin by taking a few minutes to sit quietly.

 

Close your eyes and breath slowly.                                            meditation-764026_1920

 

Wait until you feel peaceful and calm.

 

Ask yourself:

What is the main emotion I feel at this moment in time?

 

And then quietly, clearly and with great love, say to yourself:

I know I am in a place of ( name your emotion). I trust that there will be gifts of enriching growth and wisdom in this ( name your emotion). I give myself full permission to move slowly, gently and lovingly with this (name your emotion). I am open to hearing the messages within this ( name your emotion) that will help me move on with my life feeling happy and well once more.

 

Repeat this regularly – especially when the painful emotion wells up within you.

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Nourishment Ritual 2: Conscious Nourishment – A Spoonful of Honey. 

Often, eating and drinking well feels almost impossible when you’re feeling in pain, doesn’t it? Most of us either under, or over, eat and drink at these times. Of course, nourishment is about more than food and water but, today, I’m just focussing on those two elements.

I want you to consciously eat a spoonful of delicious pure honey, saying to yourself:

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Feed Yourself Well.

I consciously eat this honey knowing it is highly nutritious and feeding me well. I deserve only the best in my life and will consciously endeavour to nourish myself, in all ways, to the highest standard possible during this time of ( name your emotion) and forever afterwards.

 

 

Then,  and throughout the day, consciously drink plenty of pure water, saying to yourself:

 

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I consciously cleanse away all ( name your emotion) that no longer serves me.

Repeat this every time you drink some water.

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Nourishment Ritual Number 3:  Conscious Sensory Time in Nature.

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Again, it sounds obvious and simple but when you’re in the midst of falling apart, it can be difficult to stay connected to the world around you – especially the beauty in it.

 

Take a few minutes each day to consciously connect with nature using your senses. For example:

Smell the grass and flowers.

Listen to the different types of bird song.

Feel the soil within your fingers.

Eat the seasonal fruits directly from the bushes and trees.

Listen to the wind whistle through the trees.

Watch a butterfly fluttering free.

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And know that you are part of this beauty.

As you focus on each different aspect of nature, say:

Thank you for your divine beauty. I ask you to support and hold me during this time of ( name your emotion).

All that you see around you: the vibrant colours, rich textures,  luscious tastes, the divine perfumes – you are part of it all and equally rich, luscious and divine.

Let nature be your mirror.

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Nourishment Ritual No. 4: Conscious Acknowledgment of Your Own Precious Beauty.

Come back to sitting in a place of conscious peace and quiet.

Breath slowly and gently.

Recall the crystal clear water, the luscious honey, the rich nature surrounding you and say to yourself:

Despite this ( name your emotion), I consciously accept that I am beautiful. This pain will pass and I will learn all I need from it so that I will continue to live a wise, rich, happy and contented life. I am beautiful. This pain will pass.

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Take time to consciously honour your beauty.

And trust that you will, with gentle and conscious grace move through this difficult time with deep love for yourself and the world around you.

Sending You Much Love,

Karen.

xxx

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Karen is a #1 Best Selling Author and Spiritual Healer specialising in healing the wounds of the inner child following childhood trauma with the aim to restore self esteem to the highest and most joyful level possible.

To work with Karen, please visit: https://thelovemillionaire.com/work-with-karen/

Follow her on twitter: https://twitter.com/karen_packwood

Join her Facebook book page: https://www.facebook.com/thelovemillionaire/

You can also email Karen at  karenpackwood@gmail.com